I get my pathology results back tomorrow, and it does feel a bit strange to write this post before all that, but ultimately it doesn’t change the miracle of the day: Jesus used the surgeons to remove whatever growth was in my thyroid. And for that, I will write and celebrate and point to His goodness. No matter what answers comes tomorrow. Thank you for walking alongside me in this!
After my mountaintop October 19, I went home from Young Life at 10pm simply floating. I had just told 200 people about my Lord’s goodness through the trial….and now my chance to live it out was here!
By the time I read all of the text messages that were pouring into my phone (thank you for every single one by the way), showered and packed for the hospital, and prayed along with some friends who had called and left prayer messages on my voicemail, it was 1am before I just spent some time on my knees with Jesus. He used my soul-filling lake weekend with friends, my soul-filling Young Life, and just so many Scriptures and songs to bring my heart to the place I could have never imagined it would be: completely at peace and ready for my surgery. Completely. At. Peace.
It had to be all of your prayers. So thank you. It was the peace and courage I’d been praying for…but oh when it comes!! It is a tangible reminder of the goodness of God! He gives us grace for those scary moments. And I thought of a quote from my journal about a month ago: “The scary things are just not as scary with Jesus.” They are still scary, like we all know – right?? But they are just not that NEXT level of scary. They are a lower level – the kind that is “I-really-wish-I-wasn’t-facing-this-but-oh-I-am-so-glad-I-have-my-hope-in-Jesus” type of scary.
Tuesday, October 20
I had imagined the morning of October 20 so many times – usually with some fear. But when it came, it was far sweeter and calmer and more quiet than I had ever pictured it. I woke up in the stillness of the morning, knowing that there were hundreds of dear friends who had prayed for me for that very moment. Overwhelming. I am crying now. Mark and Morgan texted me that they were praying in Florence, Italy. I love that city and I love those friends. From 4:30am – 6:30am, 20 of you texted me that you were praying for me. Just wow. And thank you. And that is early!! Ya’ll are rockstars!!
I woke up with joy. I had asked Jesus to meet with me that morning – and He was there. He was there all day long. I soaked in Psalm 139 that morning.
I think hospital timelines are so boring, so I’ll fast forward here and just say: it truly was a blessed day of healing! Besides the nurse bruising my left wrist and saying “Dangit!” as she kept trying to get my IV in (OW!), every single thing went so smoothly.
- The surgery went “perfectly” according to the doctors and only took 1.5 hours (far less than usual)
- They were able to track my vocal nerves the whole time and all should be fine there. I am letting everything heal before I try to sing, but my talking voice is completely normal and great.
- My parathyroid glands are great (they can usually get hurt during surgery) – they are rightttt by thyroid and they control calcium levels. All good there.
- The surgeon was able to keep my scar smaller than he usually is able to. It is about 3 inches and healing well right now.
- I had courage and was never anxious – even for 3:30am blood draw.
- No side effects to any medicine the whole hospital stay. I truly felt great the whole time.
- And I am still feeling great now!! Huge praise.
Thank you for praying for me. I know that every single praise listed above is a direct result of yours and my prayers and Jesus’ grace and kindness.
The story behind the post’s title: When I found out the date of my surgery, like all other appointments, I started to write it in my planner, but I wanted to make it something to look FORWARD to, not to dread. After all, it was a GOOD thing to get this thyroid taken out, I just needed to trick my brain into wanting the day to come. So I named it. I named it the Most Blessed Day of Healing. And who doesn’t want a day with that name to come? 🙂 So it came. And I didn’t dread it. And it was blessed! And now my Facebook album is named the Most Blessed Month of Healing.
Love you all so very, very much. If God is calling you to something scary and/or unknown, my encouragement to you today is to remember that your brain and your fear CANNOT calculate God’s intervention in the moment when you need it. I can plan all day for the way I think a surgery day will go, but I am calculating without adding my Jesus to the equation – and HE changes everything. So for that frightening, unknown thing in the distance in your life, remember that when you ask Him, He will meet you there. In it, before it, beside it, with it, through it. He is there. He was with me on October 20 & 21 in what would be considered a “nightmare” for this “faints-at-blood-and-needles” girl. HE is good.
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. – Zephaniah 3:17
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8