It’s Always Been You, Jesus

Hospital Selfie 2017**Selfie above was a Hurricane Harvey hallway selfie so please excuse my lack of makeup and lack of sleep. Harvey post coming soon!*

I wrote this post a few months ago, but just now posting. I’m now working full-time at the hospital and I absolutely adore it. So thankful. 

 

I have grown up completely terrified of needles and blood. Even just getting a shot, I would get weak and nearly faint, so I’ve figured out how to lean my head back and pretend I’m laying down as I get a shot or have bloodwork taken.

God certainly does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He? In the past two years, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had consistent bloodwork every other month, visited a dear friend of mine in a rehab center five weekends, and I’m currently sitting at the hospital waiting on a friend to get out of surgery. She chose me to accompany her because of all my experience in hospitals. What!!?!

I’ll never know how I went from being terrified of hospitals, to being a patient and visitor in one, and now in just a few months, WORKING in a hospital each day, but I think it goes back, like everything does, to Jesus.

He is Master Healer. He knows what we need before we need it. He knows our sicknesses to come, our sicknesses past, our fears, hopes and dreams. He knows the amount we can handle on our own and He knows the amount we can handle with HIM. He knows how to stretch us, challenge us, get us out of our comfort zone (can I get an AMEN?!), and overall He knows what gifts He has given us, and therefore He knows how deeply He has buried them inside of us.

I truly never knew how much I would love working with patients until I got to visit my dear friend Josh Fohner at his rehab hospital and watch him improve each day, getting to see the sweet nurses and therapists and doctors taking care of him.  

I never knew I would have the strength – or the stomach—to take care of a friend post-surgery, but here I am.

I never knew I could walk into a cancer surgery with crazy insane peace. But then I did. Only Jesus.

I heard a song today called “Make a Way” by Desperation Band and the bridge is just the anthem of my heart lately, “It’s always been You, Jesus.” I think that’s the answer to life, yall. It’s confusing and messy and weird and beautiful and awkward and rough and wonderful and stunning and quiet and peaceful and chaotic and terrifying and…….Jesus. It’s always been about Him. The amount that we give Him credit for is up to us.

Any good in our whole life? Jesus.

Any peace during any sort of turmoil or trouble? Jesus.

Any blessing in any of our 24 hours a day? Jesus.

Any friendship or relationship that is life-giving? Jesus.

Any trial that draws us closer to our Creator? Jesus.

Any needle that scares us and makes us run to our Father? Jesus.

“It’s always been you” is a popular phrase that people in love say to each other….which is precious and wonderful and adorable of course.

But it can’t entirely be true, because when they were seven years old and stumbled on the playground, it was probably NOT their future spouse that picked them up off the pavement and took care of them, right? So they are meaning, “As long as I have known you, it has always been you.” Which I totally don’t deny that they loved their spouse before they met them…..but you get my point.

HOWEVER, how blessed and rich and favored are we, that the God of the universe, LONG long long long long before we ever knew Him, HE was loving us, choosing us, and drawing us to Himself?

So indeed, to Jesus, we can say, “It’s always been You, Jesus.” Because it HAS. He chose us in HIM before the foundations of the world…..EPH 1.

It has always, always, always been Jesus.

If you’re like me and you look back on parts of your life with confusion or misunderstanding, just choose to stop staring at it, and see it through the blood of Jesus. It’s always been Jesus. It will make more sense on the other side of eternity.

If you look at the good parts of your life and long for them to come back to pass, just see them with the blood of Jesus covering them. That He gave them to you in His grace and we can bask in that with gratitude.

It’s always been You, Jesus.

The world has been spinning for over 2,000 years and will continue to spin hundreds of years after we die. And it has always been and will always be about Jesus. His cross, His grace, His gospel, His love, His salvation, His joy, His heart, His GLORY.

Why do we live our little lives, running to and fro, convinced it is all about us? Our comfort, our health, our lives, our future, our money?

This life is SO not predictable or easy, but in the highs and lows, so thankful for Jesus.